Introduction to Relationships (Family and Friends)

Welcome to introduction to relationships (Family and Friends)!

When trying to have a discussion about relationships, whether it’s family or friends it can be very difficult. It has become a very sensitive subject making it hard to have a conversation without offending someone, even if you don’t mean to. Relationships are a big part of our lives and extremely important. Which is why I believe there needs to be more honest conversations surrounding this topic. There are different types of relationships. Some come easily while others are more complex. But one thing I have noticed is that they have become more fragmented. In the past, perhaps they were never really simple but there was an understanding of how to conduct oneself in a relationship. Now it seems that no one knows what it means to have a healthy relationship resulting in an increase in dysfunction.

Just like my other blogs, we need to start with definitions. The Cambridge dictionary defines relationships as The way two or more things are connected. APA dictionary defines it as a continuing and often committed association between two or more people, as in a family, friendship, marriage, partnership, or other interpersonal link in which the participants have some degree of influence on each other’s thoughts, feelings, and actions.

Family relationships are much more complicated than friendships as they are relationships that you didn’t choose. Cambridge defines family as a group of people that are related to each other. APA defines it as a kinship unit consisting of a group of individuals united by blood or by marital, adoptive, or other intimate ties.  Although the definitions are straightforward, it seems that in recent years we have over complicated them by expanding the definitions. Nowadays many start their lives with fragmented families while others have devalued the importance of family. It used to be that our family was our foundation and our net but this isn’t the case anymore. We are being raised with an unstable foundation with cracks and then are surprised when it doesn’t hold. We also don’t spend quality time with our families anymore contributing to the neglect of these important relationships. Then since we didn’t nurture the relationships properly we end up taking advantage of each other assuming that family will just always be there. This leads to more people pulling away and even causing estranged relationships. This can turn into a bigger issue since we then become associated with them even if we are estranged.

Friendships on the other hand, we choose, and due to that I think we have unintentionally made them conditional. Cambridge defines friend as a person you know well and you like a lot but who usually is not a family member. APA defines it as  a voluntary relationship between two or more people that is relatively long-lasting and in which those involved tend to be concerned with meeting the others’ needs and interests as well as satisfying their own desires. Friendships frequently develop through shared experiences in which the people involved learn that their association with one another is mutually gratifying. From what I have seen and experienced, we are increasingly misunderstanding what it means to be in a friendship. Just like almost everything else in our modern lives, friendships have become disposable. We don’t seem to love our friends or care about them as we used to. Now, this is not to say that all friendships are like this but it does seem that in the past we were more invested regardless of how hard it was. Now, it seems that we are quick to move on to the next friend if things are slightly hard or if something is said by one that the other doesn’t like.

Like many other aspects of our lives, I think we have lost the understanding of what it means to be in a relationships and the importance of them. In my opinion, this has occurred for many reasons. It could be because we spend the first 20 years of our lives stuck in school and attending far to many activities. Which pulled us away from learning about life and fostering our relationships. It could also be that we are moving towards a self interest culture and require instant gratification making it harder to put in the time for healthy relationships. In my opinion, all of this has led to isolation, loneliness and despair. I look forward to diving into all of this in future blogs. My intent is to share my experiences and resources that I have come across over the years. As well as any new information that I find and stories that I found helpful from others.