Introduction to Bereavement & Grief

Welcome to introduction to bereavement and grief!

Out of all our experiences in life, death is one of the most mysterious. It is a difficult subject to discuss which makes it challenging to deal with. We know very little about death such as when will our time come and how will it happen? Also, in certain situations who gets to survive and who dies? And of course the big question is what happens to us after we die. Is there actually a heaven and hell? Do we become a ghost or a spirit? Is there another place that we go to? Or maybe we just stop existing all together and there is nothing at all.

Questions about death don’t even stop there, as it is a complex subject. For me, it is easier to understand a concept if it is broken down. In this case, I would break it down into stages. The first stage is the dying. Not only does this look different for everyone but the length of time is also different. For some it may take hours, days, weeks, months or even years. Then for some they suddenly died so it may take minutes or even seconds. Depending on how this stage looks the individual may obtain end of life care such as palliative care or a hospices. The next stage is the actual death and taking care of the body. This would include the viewing and funeral, followed by a burial or cremation. There are many variations of these that mostly depend on religious, cultural and ideological beliefs. The next stage deals with individuals that are bereaved and are going through the grieving and mourning period. Just like the other stages, this looks different for everyone but for the most part this is a personal stage. Grieving the death of a loved one can take a toll on us. It can affect us psychologically, mentally, and even physically. There are many ways to cope and we deal with it in our own way. Over the years, I noticed that there is one common aspect that seems to work better than the rest and that is when the individual feels supportive. I also noticed that having a caring community can make a world of difference.

As previously mentioned, it is easier for me to handle difficult ideas if I can break them down into simpler concepts. However, it is difficult to accomplish this with death due to all its unknown factors. We may never fully understand death but we can try our best to analyze it with the little that we do know. At the very least we can try to learn how to cope with it. Death does have a mysterious element to it that seems to want to remain mysterious. For the most part I have come to terms with the fact that we may never fully understand it even if we try. I would say that the first step in understanding would be to look at definitions. In most dictionaries, I found that death is defined as the end of time or ceasing to exist. What I found interesting, is that they don’t agree on when it happens or what it exactly looks like, except for obvious death. According to APA dictionary, bereavement is the condition of having lost a loved one due to death. The bereaved person may experience emotional pain and distress such as grief. Grief is the anguish experienced after a significant loss. It is the emotional response to bereavement.

For most of us death is difficult to cope with. In many cases not only are we dealing with the void of our loved one being gone but also with our own mortality. We don’t know what happens to us and where we go. Many people have opinions on the matter that are usually based on a religious, spiritual or ideological perspective. Plus everyone also has different beliefs, practices, and rituals. Some of these even change over time. Then there is the academic perspective that tends to give a more of a scientific approach. Over the years academics have come up with different theories of the death and dying process as well as bereavement and grief. I will divide deeper into all of these in future blogs. My intent is to share my experiences and resources that I have come across over the years. As well as any new information that I find and stories that I found helpful from others.